She'll never love again
by Lexie Grey
Summary: Set after s6 finale. One shot.


He always saw her in the hallways, walking like she was some kind of zombie. She wasn't the same again. And he understood that it was all of his fault.

He didn't fight for her. She let her slip away from their life, their relationship, from everything. He knew that she tried to be happy with Karev , but he also knew that she didn't love him.

Because he knew her. He really knew her. He was the only one in that hospital that had the chance to really know Lexie Grey. The sweet, kind, well raised intern that an year ago showed up to his hotel room and began stripping off her clothes. She said that she respected him as a man, as a teacher, as a surgeon. No one said to him those things. Not even the first woman that he loved, the first woman who he lived with for the first time. Addison. The same woman who he slept with after he let Lexie leaves his life.

She didn't acknowledge him anymore. If they were in a case together she only spoke to him about the charts, the patients. Nothing more. Neither an 'hi'. He could kill to have an 'hi' from her.

Lexie was staring at nothing in particular, sat on a chair with her legs crossed. It reminds him when she was broken after that crazy secret cutter club. They never spoke about it.

He fought the idea of walking to her, have a seat next to her and talk. Speak the words that he wanted so much to tell her. He didn't say to her 'I miss you' anymore.

But it was true, the only thing that he wanted to do right now was talk to her. Talk to make their demons go away.

She shifted a little and they locked their eyes. Mark could tell that they were saying that the door was locked for him. He could read the disappointment, the hurt in her eyes. A moment later though everything was gone. Her stare was a blank one. That scares the hell out of him. He never saw her like that. Hell…he never saw someone like Lexie was now.

Lexie tapped unexpectedly the chair next to her, still looking at him. And Mark saw something. He saw the door cracking open, but there was no happy expression, not even a small smile.

He cleared his voice and slowly he made his way toward her. When he pointed to the chair, she nodded and he sat down.

"Lexie…I won't hurt you again, I swear." Mark began slowly, staring intently at her.

"I know.." she whispered. "I just wanted you near me." She didn't break their eye contact but her eyes were empty. He sighed.

"I miss you.." she breathed and he was shocked. He didn't expected her to say this. Well, he was convinced that she hated him.

"I know that what I did to you is unforgivable..." she cut him off before he could finish his sentence.

"What I did to you, leave you when you needed me the most…it's unforgivable too, Mark." She nodded and then looked into her lap. "But I fought for you. I tried to talk to you. You just…ignored me. You told Callie to not be friend with me anymore. You tried to move on with Dr. Altman. And I was sleeping with Alex. Stuck in a place where you were the centre of everything." She swallowed and Mark saw a tears drop on her light blue scrub. He felt his heart lose some beats.

"It didn't take you too much to move on and God knows what really happened between you and Addison." Guilt kicked in him and he had to look away from her.

"I'm scared to let you in again. Because I have no power when it comes to you, Mark. I've waited for you. I've tried to move on, but the only thought of not be with you hurt me. And what hurt me the most is that I can't look at you without think about everything that happened. The good stuff and the bad stuff. This is why I'm stuck. Because I hate you and I love you at the same time." She breathed every words and other tears were falling.

Mark couldn't tell where she was going with her words, but at least she was talking to him. Better than nothing.

"Do you regret it? Our story, I mean. Do you regret it?" he dared to ask with fear in his voice.

"Of course not." She looked at him again and took his face in her hands, speaking softly.

"I've tried not to love you anymore, but the truth is that I still love you, and I'll never love someone else like I love you. You changed me." She leaned forward and kissed him. He didn't close his eyes. Hers were still blank but he could see the sun now, like the door cracked open even more. He didn't fight her and he kissed her back.

"I just need some time to find myself again.." Lexie breathed against her lips.

"Don't worry. This time I'll be the one who waits. I'm not going anywhere." Mark promised her kissing her forehead. "I'm sick and tired of being alone without you."

He kissed her forehead once again and when he pulled away he could see a small smile on her lips. He knew that was all he could have for now, and he also know that was a lot.


End file.
